Some people are fans of the New Orleans Saints. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New Orleans Saints. This 2026 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here.
Your team: New Orleans Saints.
Your 2025 record: 6-11, otherwise known as the record of the false dawn. It’s a record that looks a lot better than 3-14, until you remember how easy it is for a bad team to scrape together three meaningless wins (or four, or five) at the end of the season, long after everyone else in the league has stopped giving a shit.
The Saints charged into the 2025 campaign waving the world’s biggest white flag. Derek Carr finally putting himself out of his misery and retiring after 2024 presented the Saints with the perfect excuse to return to the natural of every New Orleans fan: total surrender. Whereas your average New Orleans barfly executes their retreat from life via debilitating alcoholism, the Saints found the damnation they desired in the form of QB Spencer Rattler. After watching him lose all six of his starts in 2024, the front office said, Yeah, fuck it, let him be the starter in 2025. What’s the point of even being alive, anyway?
Rattler started the first eight games of the 2025 campaign, and here’s how that went for him: four straight losses to start the season, a win against the Giants (big fucking whoop), and then three more losses. Rattler never topped 250 yards in a game, never threw the ball more than five yards beyond the line of scrimmage, and got sacked more than three times in half his starts. Every minute spent watching Rattler play quarterback was a minute spent thinking about how nothing we do really matters at all. He’s the quarterbacking equivalent of a Townes Van Zandt song.
And then Kellen Moore decided to briefly delay the quiet, solemn death that his team was striving for by handing the starting job over to rookie QB Tyler Shough, whose last name is pronounced in the stupidest way you can imagine and who led the Saints to a 5-4 record over their last nine games. Did they beat anyone who was actually worth a shit in those nine games? No! Was Shough even all that competent? Not really!
And yet 5-4 is 5-4 and the Saints are the Saints, which makes this a nice shiny pair of numbers to look at if you are someone trying to delude themselves into thinking that the Saints are on an upward trajectory. Guys who bet four losing parlays a week have spent this entire offseason telling people that the Saints might be “lowkey good” because “Tyler Shush can really spin it.” We’ll see about that, Garrett.
Your coach: Buzz McCallister.
Nobody benefited more from Shoughmania than Kellen Moore, who before handing the starting job over to Shough was providing yet another reminder that the NFL’s process for hiring new head coaches should probably be a little more nuanced than just finding a white guy who used to play quarterback and likes wearing a hat.
The Saints handed Moore his first head coaching gig after watching him win the Super Bowl as the Eagles’ offensive coordinator in 2024, for which he can thank Vic Fangio, Jalen Carter, Jordan Davis, and everyone else who made up Philadelphia’s top-ranked defense.
Moore’s one of those guys who is known as a quarterback whisperer/offensive whiz kid for no other reason than persistent self-branding. And what did all the innovative concepts that he keeps locked away in that big noggin of his produce in 2025? Just the 28th-ranked scoring offense. Turns out it’s a little harder to keep your offense on the field when you don’t have an unstoppable cheater play to bail yourself out of every short-yardage situation.
Moore’s really fucked himself now, though. People are willing to be patient with a rookie coach, but by being present on the sideline while Shough was doing whatever the hell he was doing during that 5-4 run to close the season, Moore convinced everyone that he really is a bona fide quarterback whisperer. All that means is that when Shough starts eating shit this season because he’s playing against teams that are actually trying, the calls for Moore’s head are going to come swiftly. This man will be the passing game coordinator at Texas A&M within 12 months.
Your quarterback: A guy who played 900 seasons of college football, got picked 50 spots too high in last year’s draft, and will be 27 years old by Week 4. Can you feel the excitement?
Shough’s successful run to finish off the 2025 season was kind of like if Linsanity had occurred without anyone who has even a semi-fulfilling personal life noticing. Do people in New Orleans even care that some rookie doofus jumped into the starting lineup and beat up on the Panthers, Jets, and Titans at the very end of an already-wasted season? Fuck no. They’re too busy convincing themselves that their problem drinking is a fun personality quirk because it takes place in buildings with tiered balconies and French doors instead of an Applebee’s in Youngstown, Ohio.
Despite all the wins, Shough was every bit the medium talent his pre-draft ranking signaled he’d be. He didn’t beat a single team that finished the season with a winning record, and only topped 300 yards passing in Weeks 16 and 17, against the already-buried Jets and Titans. Against the Rams, the only actually good team he played all season, he threw for 176 yards and lost by 24 points.
Shough will have to start the season with back-to-back road games against the Lions and Ravens, but then his schedule gets pretty soft thanks to the NFC South being a flophouse for losers and degenerates. Go ahead and squint at the Saints schedule all you want, but if you think you see more than five wins there, you’re a sucker who has forgotten how many seasons have been lost to front offices thinking they’ve drafted Brock Purdy when they’ve actually drafted Mac Jones.
What’s new that sucks: After putting what might have been the NFL’s worst roster on the field last season, the big thinkers in the front office convinced themselves that this offseason should be spent at least feigning interest in building a competent team around Shough, so that all of his non-existent talent will have an opportunity to truly flourish.
The Saints went about this the same way every poorly run team does: by investing in the running game. So in comes G David Edwards, whom the Saints poached from the Bills with a fat contract, and who will be tasked with turning last season’s 28th-ranked rushing attack into something less embarrassing. He’ll be joined in that effort by RB Travis Etienne Jr., who managed to scam a contract with $28 million in guarantees out of this team despite the current going rate for running backs being the lint in your pocket. Etienne is 27 (basically dead for a running back) and spent the first four years of his career in Jacksonville cranking out totally unremarkable seasons. Are you the kind of person who just loves watching a running back pile up 1,100-yard, five-touchdown seasons that don’t contain a single noteworthy highlight? Then get yourself to New Orleans immediately!
Oh yeah, RB Alvin Kamara is still here. This bozo hasn’t been good since almost killing a guy in Vegas. The Saints appear to be angling for some kind of “Thunder and Lightning” type deal with Etienne and Kamara, and don’t seem too worried about the fact that neither guy has anything resembling thunder or lightning left in his legs. Etienne’s going to waste the first two downs of every drive by running into the backs of his linemen, and then Kamara will catch a pass in the flat and get tackled behind the line for a loss of two yards. Kellen Moore, you’ve done it again.
The Saints grabbed WR Jordyn Tyson with the eighth overall pick in this year’s draft. He’s one of those “shifty” receivers who looks really good running routes and gaining yards after the catch against college defenders, but will miss a minimum of eight games per season once NFL defenders start hitting him. He’ll be paired up with WR Chris Olave, who just signed a new contract with $90 million in guarantees. Does that seem like a fair price for a guy who is totally incapable of topping 1,200 yards or catching double-digit touchdowns in a season? Are Saints fans meant to be enthused by the fact that the first play on Olave’s 2025 highlight reel is a simple 12-yard catch?
Ancient LB Demario Davis went back to the Jets following eight seasons spent as the Saints’ best defensive player. He’s been replaced by LB Kaden Elliss, who is a lot younger than Davis and a lot worse at football.
The people who own this team are the guys on the videotape from True Detective Season 1.
What has always sucked: This is normally the place to make fun of Taysom Hill, but Sean Payton’s former show dog has officially decided to leave New Orleans, where he’s spent the entirety of his completely useless nine-year career. If any teams out there are looking for a 35-year-old QB/TE who sucks at both quarterback and tight end, the line starts behind the Broncos. DE Cam Jordan is coming back for a 16th season, though. He’s mostly there to remind everyone what a disappointment DE Chase Young is.
Beignets are overrated. Oh, you made a donut that sucks and also covered every surface of this restaurant with powdered sugar. Thank you man, that’s awesome.
Shia LaBeouf lives in New Orleans now. That’s the kind of person you people are attracting these days. Every time he goes on a podcast now and says, “I fuck with New Orleans, heavy,” he’s representing your values. Seek God.
What might not suck: Kool-Aid McKinstry has the best name in sports.
HEAR IT FROM SAINTS FANS!
Philip:
The boy turned 6 last football season and he’s started to get into the games a bit. He knows we’re the Saints and we wear black and gold and he’s learning his numbers so it’s good practice for him to read the scores. On the back end of last year’s Seahawks embarrassment he joined me on the couch. The score was 30-0 at that point. Saints drive stalls and they line up for a FG which he knows gets points. The kick misses wide, but he doesn’t get that. Why do we still have zero if we kicked it, he asks. Well, I reply, it has to go through the yellow posts to get points. He thinks for a minute and sighs, I wish we had better guys. My wife in the other room laughed like Andrew Jackson when he shut down all the brothels and gin joints.
I do too, buddy. I do too.
Devon:
Y’all, welcome to Mass. We will begin with a reading from the book of Exodus, Chapter 12: Verse 31:
Then Pharaoh called for Moses and Aaron at night. He said, “Get up and go away from my people, both you and the people of Israel. Go and worship the Lord, as you have said. Take your flocks and your cattle, as you have said, and go. And pray that good will come to me also.” The Egyptians were trying to make the people hurry out of the land. For they said, “We will all be dead.”
At press time, Moses and Aaron are represented in this metaphor by longtime NFC South Defense menaces Cam “Where’s Matt Ryan So I Can Maim Him” Jordan and Demario Davis. While Jordan has not committed (but will likely return for one more go), Davis thought the situation was bad enough that he had to f**k off BACK to the New York Jets.
Who leaves ANYWHERE to willingly go back play for the New York Jets? Yeah, I know—Geno Smith.
But I digress. In this metaphor, the Egyptians are current GM and waste of air Mickey Loomis, who has done nothing but…checks notes…next to nothing since our Lord and Savior Drew Brees retired to get this team in playoff position.
Did the Egyptians just give up? I thought not. Fuck this man with a go cup.
This franchise actually made two right moves in the off-season: Hiring former Eagles OC Kellen Moore and drafting a QB who is improving game after game—Tyler Shough (Shuff? Show?).
The problem is I still don’t have clarity on who Shough will be throwing to next season. Is Michael Thomas still around? Oh wait, Loomis botched that too. Taysom Hill, the swiss-army knife of football? Unlikely, as he made the same hints as his buddies on the defense after the routing of the Jets right before Christmas and put his house on the market.
Chris Olave? His brain is likely mush. Kamara? Unknown. Travis Etienne (ATE-YEN) is a promising new addition.
How’s Rashid Shaheed doing since being traded to the Seahawks?
How shit were we? So shit we once again had no one get selected for the Pro Bowl alongside the New York Jets and the Minnesota Vikings (sorry Drew).
The problem is that we continue to put faith in Loomis, who hasn’t had a new idea since he helped the New Orleans Archdiocese cover up crimes against children. My 32 oz. Tervis Saints mug melted in the dishwasher last month. I feel like this season is just as doomed as that cup.
Bill:
New Orleans, a place I love, will cease to be a viable place for most of its inhabitants in my lifetime. People will still live there, but it will be a shabby, washed-out (literally), shadow of itself. The New Orleans Saints, a team I love, will never again be viable in my lifetime. Fuck Gayle Benson and the Archdiocese of New Orleans with that car they fished out of the Mid-City drainage system.
Laryssa:
I think the highlight of this season was watching Sean Payton win a playoff game for a different team. That asshole is not our asshole anymore, y’all. Give it a rest.
WHO DAT!
Gunner:
Sigh, the New Orleans Saints—this is happening again this year? Are they good? My head says “no” but my heart says “also probably not.” However, I still see people talking about Future Guy-to-Remember Tyler Shough like he’s the second coming of Brees. The same thing happened with Derek Carr, who I had briefly but legitimately forgotten was our quarterback—peace exists in the universe after all! I think maybe we (and the front office staff) don’t know ball.
If the NFL had relegation you’d have to play in a combined NFC/AFC South dumpster fire and we’d never make it out. At least we have the better food, or at least that’s what our deluded, swamp-ass, undereducated trainwreck of a fan base says, as if anyone else gives a shit about it. Everyone is tired of us. I’ve just started telling people I’m a Cowboys fan (my dad’s team) just to feel…something? At least every year is the Cowboys’ year…it will never be the Saints’ year again.
Fuck Tom Benson, who everyone seems to revere but also who everyone forgets wanted to move the team out of New Orleans at its most vulnerable moment. Fuck Bill Vinovich forever.
Rob:
2025 was the first year since I’ve started paying attention that the Saints earned the coveted “Sunday Afternoon Movie” slot in the Jamboroo, and honestly? That stung worse than anything I’ve ever read in a WYTS.
Readers often write in to say things like “I wish my dad hadn’t made me care about this team,” but, as a transplant and a 2009 bandwagoner, I can’t blame my father for trapping me in the quicksand pit that is Saints fandom. However, I now have children of my own, which means that sometime around the year 2048, we’ll still be in salary cap hell, still trying to pry open the same championship window that Tom Brady slammed shut in front of an empty Superdome in 2020, and my sons will be writing emails to Branxtleigh Magary cursing MY name for steering them headfirst into the Charybdis of the NFL.
I’m sorry, boys. For me, the best part of being a Saints fan was watching this team win a championship while living in New Orleans. For you, the next best thing is knowing the Falcons will never win one of their own.
Raising Cane’s chicken is dry as dust and the sauce is fucking mid.
Collin:
I moved to St. Louis from New Orleans the day after the Minneapolis Miracle. For the uninitiated, St. Louis has an area of the city that is downtown-adjacent (near the Anheuser Brewery) called Soulard, which is basically a portion of the city attempting to cosplay as New Orleans. Soulard has “Mardi Gras” every year. STL locals will tell you that it is “the second biggest Mardi Gras behind New Orleans!!!” It is not. It is a shell, an excuse to start drinking at 9AM, full of barricades and dinky little “parade floats” which pale in comparison to the 10+ day marathon New Orleans is known for. Shoot, I think Galveston even has a bigger Mardi Gras. STL’s is nothing.
Anyway, my first year back (and mind you this was when the Saints were still pretty good and contending each year, despite their inevitable doomed fate), I figured, hey, I’ll go to Soulard, they want to be New Orleans so badly and we don’t have a team up here, surely there is at least one bar that has adopted the Saints. Nope. Not one. So I did some research and found the “Who Dat Food Bar and Grill” (yes, “Food Bar” was part of the name) which wasn’t even in Soulard but still liked to pretend. They had the name! Surely they were New Orleans expats like me who cared about our (then-good) football team!
The one and only time I went to Who Dat Food Bar and Grill, I asked the bartender if they showed the Saints games. She had no idea what I was talking about. I explained the “who dat” thing as best as I could and how it related to the team, and that the fleur de lis in the restaurant’s black and gold logo was surely a Saints reference. She again looked confused and said they’d have the Chiefs game on later that afternoon. The po’boy was terrible. This place didn’t even bother to make a decent pastiche of New Orleans food.
This is who the Saints are and who we are forever destined to be. No one outside of New Orleans knows the Saints exist. No one cares. We will never be good enough for anyone to know who we are. Our roster is filled with castoffs and almost-rans, the likes of which wouldn’t even grace the most esoteric sports trivia night’s answers. We are a team living in the shadow of the city’s food and drink culture, which will always overshadow anything this team ever does, and we will never again amount to anything beyond that. Gumbo, gumbo, gumbo, all the way down.
Ross:
In retrospect, the Derek Carr/Dennis Allen years allowed me to check out a bit, which was nice. Last year they got fun enough in the back half of the season that I know I’ll shell out for Sunday Ticket this season. Fuck me.
Austin:
I typically write on behalf of my pompous Denver Broncos, but I lost a best friend to a freak virus this year and he was as diehard Saints as they come—with all the vitriol and self-loathing that came with it. Permit me to share some of the best insults he wrote about his own team (in particular, Mickey Loomis) via various texts over the course of the season:
– Loomis will never die, that pickled dildo will continue to live in Gayle Benson’s dresser and fuck her slightly less hard than he does the fanbase.
– Mickey Loomis is the most corn-filled post-drunken bender beershit fucking GM in any sport. If you taught him baseball and put him in charge of the Rockies, they’d be demoted to Single-A.
– Loomis you cucked geriatric platypus dick
– I want to bring Tom Benson back to life just so I can murder him for hiring Mickey Loomis.
– Loomis should be anally fed roux from a jar. And not Rouses or Dorignacs either. Fucking Food Lion.
– Mickey Loomis should be encased in carbonite up to his neck and used as the anchor for the Algiers ferry.
– Loomis is a jackass, lost in the SB and post-katrina feels is that Tom Benson tried to strong arm NOLA and threatened to move to San Antonio (why he has car dealerships there), and Gayle doesn’t give a shit and just uses it for free PR for Catholic rapists dressed like Madea works at waffle house.
– I hope we give Loomis a jizz funeral when he dies. Not a jazz funeral. No typo. Bukakke that son of a bitch and toss him in bayou st john.
– I can’t wait to break out the “86 Loomis” jersey
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