‘Real Housewives of Rhode Island’: Episode 3 recap

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Cranston’s Christmas party was the focus of drama in episode three.

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Here’s some perspective for you.

I recently I interviewed Christina Applegatewho told me about battling breast cancer, an eating disorder, and escaping abusive relationships. Since 2021, the actress/author’s life with MS has left her bedridden and in chronic pain.

“People don’t understand why I watch Bravo: Because then I don’t have to think about it,” Applegate told me. “I’ve watched every season of every series of ‘Below Deck’. And “Housewives.” …I love them all so much.

That’s the position we need to take with “The Real Housewives of Rhode Island.”

I don’t know what your personal situation is, but I know that this world is going to hell in a hand basket.

Allow me to turn off CNN for the night, and escape to fictional New England, where the greatest horror imaginable is the drama at a man’s disco-themed 54th birthday party.

However, Episode 3 of “The Real Housewives of Rhode Island” centered on the drama of one of the men’s disco-themed 54th birthday parties.

Oh, and I’ll start this week’s recap with extra enthusiasm in Rudy’s move, because for the first time in history — or at least that I know of (and dozens of other Rudy Instagram users) — Rhode Island has done The Onion. [Raised fist emoji.]

Yes, Boston gets its fair share of onion jokes. Finally, Rudy deserves an onion. One tear of pride.)

https://www.instagram.com/p/DXHxIIPD0FH

Okay, grab your popcorn, and I’ll recap the drama. Bravo only uses first names on the show to identify cast members, so I’ll stick to that format to make it easier for you. Let’s ride.

Highlights of episode 3

Much of the show saw the actors, in different pairings, rehashing last week’s drama-filled lunch at Newport Vineyards in Middletown, to push some storylines forward.

In Newport, if you remember, we saw the gang (sans Rolla) playing a game where they could anonymously write a question on a card, to respond to a rumor directly.

Alicia Carmody — who talks like Lois from Family Guy, has a penchant for “crack,” and is a veritable quote machine (which I can’t get enough of) — asked Liz McGraw if it was true that she had an affair with McGraw’s old friend Dino. Liz was clearly upset during lunch.

This week, Liz described the rumor as “nonsense”. She told the camera that the rumor was “insulting.” She realizes that it sounds like a “wonderful, exciting story,” but “at the end of the day, it’s nothing. Let’s move on from it.”

It looks like Alicia and Liz are crushing beef at Alicia’s house. Alicia apologized for raising Dino, and said that Liz could ask her a personal question, like why she wasn’t married.

She has been engaged for 9 years to Bill Kitselis, who owns several Rudy’s restaurants, including… Mama’s Pizza in Cranston.

“When I see my mom and dad not exercising, I just have a guard [gaad] she said, adding that Bill made her sign a prenuptial agreement, which would have left her “with nothing.”

Meanwhile, a former correspondent for WJAR Channel 10 Rosie Woods Demarie And Ashley Iaconetti dissects another bit of gossip: Polyamory.

Kelsey Swanson – former Miss Rhode Island and University of Rhode Island Alum — He lives with a rich old man. He lives six months of the year in Florida with another woman.

Last week, Kelsey admitted that she is dating someone else.

This week we meet Bill (Bravo headline: “Kelsey’s Other Man”) on… Boom Cafe In Providence.

She met Bill Europa in seventh grade and her mother loves him.

“My mom just wants me to be with someone who will help me get pregnant,” Kelsey says. Her rich boyfriend will provide a mansion but “won’t budge” on the children.

The third point in the story: the escalating dispute between Rola and Jo Ellen.

Last week, we learned that JoEllen Tiberi had, some time ago, shown Liz photos of Rula Naama Pontarelli’s husband, Brian, with another woman.

Rola said that Jo Ellen “was going around town about it” and divorce rumors started. Rola insists that his affair is not “ongoing.” Others said it was.

Jo Ellen told her husband, Gary, this week that she was concerned about Rula and Brian’s presence at the Studio 54 concert. She said Brian wrote an email and called her work to complain about her.

“I don’t appreciate her or her husband trying to deal with me,” she says.

“Maybe I’ll hit him,” Gary says.

“Do it, baby. I’ll be so excited with you,” she says.

Meanwhile, at Rolla’s mansion in Lincoln, she’s hosting a brunch with her friends. She talks about the difficulties she’s faced in her marriage since her husband’s affair, and says she’s nervous about the Studio 54 concert because: Jo Ellen.

A friend advised her to go and “prove to them there’s nothing to worry about.”

Side story: Ashley and her husband Jared, who met on “Bachelor in Paradise”, reunite in… Trattoria Romana In South Kingstown. Ashley says Jared spends a lot of time — and makes only a few dollars — at their café, Audrey’s Café and Lounge In South Kingstown.

“It’s a money pit,” Ashley says. “He works long hours and still doesn’t feel completely satisfied. It makes me sad.”

—

All this drama culminates on Jerry’s 54th birthday.

Jo Ellen confronts Rola and the pair sit down to talk. There’s a lot of back and forth no Housewives memeswhere Brian looked embarrassed, Jo Ellen’s husband got angry, and Jo Ellen got upset.

Liz ended all this drama with two sentences that reminded me of the end of Lord of the Flies when the adults arrived: “It’s Jerry’s birthday, isn’t it? And we’ll forget about this.” (I had to laugh.)

Meanwhile, Liz tells Kelsey that she wants to go down “to the sea wall” with Dino and her husband so people can see the three of them.

Kelsey says she shouldn’t because of the “constant…”

“Ongoing what?” Liz interrupted. “Rumours? Bye. F-Kelsey.”

Liz raced inside. Adding to the drama, they let us see the camera men and microphone sounds, and Liz locks herself in a room.

“I don’t have continuity! Maybe you have continuity, not me!” Liz screams. “You have more to hide than me!”

Favorite quotes

• “You walk like a polygamous duck, you look like a polygamous duck, you quack like a polygamous duck, you are a polygamous duck.” – Ashley is in a relationship with Kelsey.
• “I have no problem working…Do I want to? No.” -Kelsey, about her luxurious life.
• “If it wasn’t on the Disney Channel, I probably wouldn’t have seen it.” – Rosie on never seeing “Scarface.”
• “I like to be an icon, and that’s not iconic.” -Rosé on not liking her Studio 54 outfit.
• “I think it’s like art. Look at the way they apply their eyeliner… and everyone has a different lipstick… I think they’re amazing.” — Alicia in her doll collection.

(Now, we’re talking favorable Not priceless antiques, but either Bratz dolls or Bratz lookalikes. This is a level of weird weirdness that is sorely missing from the “Housewives” series. You do it, Alicia.

Lauren Daly is a freelance culture writer. Can be accessed at [email protected]. She chirps @lorendelli1And Instagram on @lorendelli1. Read more stories on Facebook here.