Dear Abby: My father died and left me a large sum of money. The first thing I did was pay off my husband’s debts totaling over $140,000. I also paid for my car. I also paid $600,000 cash for the house we live in.
For Christmas, I want to give each of my three adult children $10,000 from me and their grandfather. My husband (who has one year old) asked me if I planned to give his two adult children the same thing. I answered no, which was not well received.
His children never met my father. Am I wrong here? I do not feel that his adult children are entitled to my inheritance. My husband commented that my father (who married my mother and adopted me when I was 3 years old) gave me the same amount as each of my brothers and sister. Well, Abe, that man was my father for 57 years. I don’t feel like he’s the same as his adult children that I didn’t raise.
I’ve only met his son a few times, and have been more than generous with his daughter and our two-year-old granddaughter. If I’m wrong, I’ll admit it and correct it. This is putting a lot of stress on our relationship, and he refuses to go to marriage counseling with me. What do you think? – It is not the same as in the East
My dear is not the same: I agree with you that the situation is not the same. Your stepchildren are not entitled to a share of your inheritance.
Just because your husband refuses to see a marriage counselor with you doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go, which is what I urge you to do in order to find clarity and figure out how to move forward in this very awkward situation.
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Dear Abby: I’m in sixth grade in high school, and I have a certain friend since sixth grade. I am a democrat. It’s a republic. Until recently, we were able to put our differences aside, but recently, we have witnessed some clashes over our political differences.
Given how bad things are today and how much worse they may get, I find it difficult to ignore these issues. I’ve also noticed that some people say they don’t like me because they think I believe the same way you do. I don’t want to end our friendship over something like this, but I don’t see how it can last much longer. Please help me make the right decision. – A morally torn friend
My dear friend: There is an old saying that politics and religion are not appropriate topics for polite conversation. Now you know why.
There are two ways to solve this problem. You can sit down with your friend and agree to disagree. Then promise that you will avoid discussing politics from now on. The other option is to thank each other for a friendship that has been great while it lasts. Then let each other go.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jane Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Call Dear Abby on http://www.DearAbby.com Or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.